Spending any significant time in a car with any child can be an experience. I just wanted to take a moment to share the experience that I had this morning.
I woke Kyle up at 6:30, earlier than normal, in order to get ready and meet the group he goes snowboarding with. The normal battles of getting ready in the morning were the same. He knew that we had to leave by 7:30. At 7:30 he started freaking out at me because we were supposed to be leaving. I was just finishing up a quick bite of breakfast before heading out the door. I reassured him that we would be leaving in "just a minute" which I literally felt would be accomplished. He didn't like that answer, and for the next minute, I spent reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.
We left at 7:31. My tank was almost out of gas, so we had to stop and get gas. Kyle loves the V8 drinks, so I gave him some money to run in and get a couple while I pumped the gas. He came back with V8 tomato juice. I am glad that he likes such a healthy thing. Now only if I could get him to like mint toothpaste!!!
We left the gas station with an hour and fifteen minutes left of our journey. We were driving along and then he started repeating things. He doesn't do this too often, but when he does he does it a lot. The first thing he repeated was "three thousand", followed by "you need to take care of yourself" in a singsong voice. All the time he was doing this, he was very happy and was rocking back and forth and side to side. There were about three other phrases he stuck on for awhile.
He also asked me what "curriculum" meant. I explained to him that what he is doing at school right now is his curriculum. Then he proceeded to tell me that he isn't doing anything in school right now. I asked him about math and reading, and he said he isn't doing that right now. I said he must be doing something in the seven hours that he is there. His exact words were, "I do when I am there, but I am not there now." He wasn't joking around, he was being dead serious. I had to smile to myself, it was kinda cute.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Pain of Rejection
Every week Kyle goes out with a therapist and another child with similar needs to have fun and to work on social skills. Kyle looks forward to these outings. This is such a great opportunity for him and the other children. Kyle has been going with this one child and I thought that everything was going great. I began to wonder if I was imagining the social deficit.
I took Kyle to his one on one therapy appointment today and while he was in his meeting I met up with the therapist that he works with in these social meetings. We talked about the next time that she was going to be taking Kyle out and what they had planned on doing. It was great to hear that he was going to be making some different friends. Then, I was saddened to hear that the child he was going with regularly had asked the therapist if he always had to hang out with Kyle. This was very sad for me to hear. No one wants to hear that their child isn't liked by anybody. On the other hand, I do not blame the child either. Kyle can be mean to other children. He doesn't know he is until after he has hurt the other person's feelings and you have brought it to his attention. He then feels really bad because this wasn't his intention, but the damage is done.
The last time the two of them hung out with the therapist they went sliding. Kyle was getting mad and very hurtful to the other child because he "wasn't sliding right" and kept falling off. This is something that he has had a hard time with all along. His brother doesn't play with Legos right...his sister doesn't play the game right...every five seconds someone isn't doing something right.
The therapist could tell that I was sad. I said to her that I have tried to talk to him about this since he was little and he doesn't ever get it until after the damage is done. She reassured me that it is great that he takes ownership for it after and that he feels remorse. She told me that she was going to work with him and help him learn. I am so happy and grateful that he will eventually learn, I hope, but why is it that I am not able to teach him this? What is it that I am doing wrong? I love him with every bit of my heart, and when he gets rejected it hurts me a million times more than you can even imagine. He is such a happy, lovable boy and I never want that to change.
I took Kyle to his one on one therapy appointment today and while he was in his meeting I met up with the therapist that he works with in these social meetings. We talked about the next time that she was going to be taking Kyle out and what they had planned on doing. It was great to hear that he was going to be making some different friends. Then, I was saddened to hear that the child he was going with regularly had asked the therapist if he always had to hang out with Kyle. This was very sad for me to hear. No one wants to hear that their child isn't liked by anybody. On the other hand, I do not blame the child either. Kyle can be mean to other children. He doesn't know he is until after he has hurt the other person's feelings and you have brought it to his attention. He then feels really bad because this wasn't his intention, but the damage is done.
The last time the two of them hung out with the therapist they went sliding. Kyle was getting mad and very hurtful to the other child because he "wasn't sliding right" and kept falling off. This is something that he has had a hard time with all along. His brother doesn't play with Legos right...his sister doesn't play the game right...every five seconds someone isn't doing something right.
The therapist could tell that I was sad. I said to her that I have tried to talk to him about this since he was little and he doesn't ever get it until after the damage is done. She reassured me that it is great that he takes ownership for it after and that he feels remorse. She told me that she was going to work with him and help him learn. I am so happy and grateful that he will eventually learn, I hope, but why is it that I am not able to teach him this? What is it that I am doing wrong? I love him with every bit of my heart, and when he gets rejected it hurts me a million times more than you can even imagine. He is such a happy, lovable boy and I never want that to change.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
You Can Be Part of a Team in More Than One Way
I try to involve Kyle in as many activities as the schedule allows for many reasons. He is a kid and will only have these opportunities for a very short time, I want him to have fun and learn skills, but most of all I have him take part in different things for social growth.
Kyle has fun at sports, he plays baseball, soccer, basketball and is involved in gymnastics. He tried flag football two seasons but that really didn't work out. He isn't the top athlete, but he does awesome in my eyes. Seeing the growth he has made in the four years he has been playing sports amazes me. The first couple of years he would physically be at practice, but would be off doing cartwheels half a field away from his team. More interested in the grass and the adults than the sport or his friends. A short attention span at this age is quite normal, but Kyle always likes to take things a little farther. Now, he can sit with his team, follow directions and stay on task 1000 times better than he could back then. This to me is amazing...how much he has grown in such a short time. There is still room for growth, though. When the team sits together, he will now sit quiet and still with the team, but is usually facing the other way and not looking at the coach. He is listening...he can answer a question you ask or repeat what you say. He is gently being reminded about eye contact.
He is doing well, and they just had their first two games this season. The coach was very good and picked up on something that will be very useful in future years. She also knows that the main reason that he is in basketball is for social growth and not because I wisk for him to be in the NBA! LOL! She noticed that he likes the paper they use in games to keep track of who scores and such. He seemed to have a strong interest. She said to me that when he is older he might prefer to be a team manager. This thought had never crossed my mind...what a great idea!!!
That night I talked with Kyle about the game and about how interested he was in the tracking sheet that one of the other parents was filling out. His eyes beamed...he went on and on about how cool that was and how he wanted to do that. Awesome!!
Since he is so young, and sports are still working out for him for the most part, I don't want him to not practice and play...I still want him to be a regular part of the team, but I also want to let him learn something that he will enjoy and will become useful in the future. Now to find a balance and compromise.
I talked with the coach after practice yesterday and I thanked her for her great suggestion and we worked on incorporating that into the mix now. Since it is something he likes to do, we can use it as an award for good behavior. I explained to her that for now I would still like him to practice and play at least the first half of the game, and if he does well and cooperates he can keep track of the sheet for the second half, along with the other parent who will be keeping the "official" sheet.
My goal in this is to force him to be out there socially and learn how to be part of a team, which is a skill he will need in his life, but to also grow another part that he really likes and is potentially a great fit for him! I am very thankful that the coach noticed this, brought it to my attention and is helping him learn this. I think this is going to be a great thing for Kyle in the future when sports become harder and more competitive.
Kyle has fun at sports, he plays baseball, soccer, basketball and is involved in gymnastics. He tried flag football two seasons but that really didn't work out. He isn't the top athlete, but he does awesome in my eyes. Seeing the growth he has made in the four years he has been playing sports amazes me. The first couple of years he would physically be at practice, but would be off doing cartwheels half a field away from his team. More interested in the grass and the adults than the sport or his friends. A short attention span at this age is quite normal, but Kyle always likes to take things a little farther. Now, he can sit with his team, follow directions and stay on task 1000 times better than he could back then. This to me is amazing...how much he has grown in such a short time. There is still room for growth, though. When the team sits together, he will now sit quiet and still with the team, but is usually facing the other way and not looking at the coach. He is listening...he can answer a question you ask or repeat what you say. He is gently being reminded about eye contact.
He is doing well, and they just had their first two games this season. The coach was very good and picked up on something that will be very useful in future years. She also knows that the main reason that he is in basketball is for social growth and not because I wisk for him to be in the NBA! LOL! She noticed that he likes the paper they use in games to keep track of who scores and such. He seemed to have a strong interest. She said to me that when he is older he might prefer to be a team manager. This thought had never crossed my mind...what a great idea!!!
That night I talked with Kyle about the game and about how interested he was in the tracking sheet that one of the other parents was filling out. His eyes beamed...he went on and on about how cool that was and how he wanted to do that. Awesome!!
Since he is so young, and sports are still working out for him for the most part, I don't want him to not practice and play...I still want him to be a regular part of the team, but I also want to let him learn something that he will enjoy and will become useful in the future. Now to find a balance and compromise.
I talked with the coach after practice yesterday and I thanked her for her great suggestion and we worked on incorporating that into the mix now. Since it is something he likes to do, we can use it as an award for good behavior. I explained to her that for now I would still like him to practice and play at least the first half of the game, and if he does well and cooperates he can keep track of the sheet for the second half, along with the other parent who will be keeping the "official" sheet.
My goal in this is to force him to be out there socially and learn how to be part of a team, which is a skill he will need in his life, but to also grow another part that he really likes and is potentially a great fit for him! I am very thankful that the coach noticed this, brought it to my attention and is helping him learn this. I think this is going to be a great thing for Kyle in the future when sports become harder and more competitive.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Caring About Others
I wanted to take a moment and write about a wonderful experience that brought tears to my eyes. One that I will remember forever.
In order to understand how amazing this particular moment was to me, you would need to realize the history and rarity of this event. Before Kyle received the diagnosis of Asperger's, I never really thought much to the fact that he was oblivious to other people's emotions. I never expected Kyle to be there for me emotionally, that is not something a child should be responsible for. The child shouldn't feel responsible for making you feel happy when you are sad, et cetera. Just like you wouldn't place your marital or financial burdens on your child, you wouldn't place your emotional burdens on them as well.
I assumed that the reason why Kyle didn't care about other people's emotions was because he never was expected to respond to our emotions. Apparently, this isn't the case. Neurotypical children are aware of other people's emotions and will offer a hug or some gesture to help someone that is crying or upset. It really became apparent to me the severity of Kyle's lack of empathy when the two younger ones showed empathy at a very early age without any coaching. The little ones would even get upset when characters on TV would be upset. This was a wake up call to me. So we set out to work with Kyle on this.
Sometimes it can be so frustrating when you work to the point of exhaustion and feel as if you are getting nowhere. You see the end in sight, but you aren't getting any closer and you aren't seeing any progress. This was exactly how I was feeling. One day I saw a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. I will never forget that moment.
My husband usually takes Kyle to school in the morning on his way to work, but I had an appointment first thing so I dropped him off on the way. The appointment was regarding Kyle. My husband stayed home with the little ones. The night before, we explained to Kyle that in the morning things would be a little different. Kyle, being one that dislikes change and is very rigid, we knew that we would have to explain why and how, et cetera. It didn't go over too bad. I explained to him that I had an appointment in the morning and that I would drop him off on the way. After he tried to come up with many different ways that he could still go about his morning the same way, he finally accepted it.
The next morning came and things went very smoothly. I dropped him off at school. When he got out, he turned around and looked at me and said, "Good luck with your appointment, Mom." He said it with such compassion that reliving it now is still bringing tears to my eyes. Other parents may take this quality in their children for granted, and I probably do with the little ones. But for Kyle and I, this was better than winning a gold medal in the Olympics.
In order to understand how amazing this particular moment was to me, you would need to realize the history and rarity of this event. Before Kyle received the diagnosis of Asperger's, I never really thought much to the fact that he was oblivious to other people's emotions. I never expected Kyle to be there for me emotionally, that is not something a child should be responsible for. The child shouldn't feel responsible for making you feel happy when you are sad, et cetera. Just like you wouldn't place your marital or financial burdens on your child, you wouldn't place your emotional burdens on them as well.
I assumed that the reason why Kyle didn't care about other people's emotions was because he never was expected to respond to our emotions. Apparently, this isn't the case. Neurotypical children are aware of other people's emotions and will offer a hug or some gesture to help someone that is crying or upset. It really became apparent to me the severity of Kyle's lack of empathy when the two younger ones showed empathy at a very early age without any coaching. The little ones would even get upset when characters on TV would be upset. This was a wake up call to me. So we set out to work with Kyle on this.
Sometimes it can be so frustrating when you work to the point of exhaustion and feel as if you are getting nowhere. You see the end in sight, but you aren't getting any closer and you aren't seeing any progress. This was exactly how I was feeling. One day I saw a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. I will never forget that moment.
My husband usually takes Kyle to school in the morning on his way to work, but I had an appointment first thing so I dropped him off on the way. The appointment was regarding Kyle. My husband stayed home with the little ones. The night before, we explained to Kyle that in the morning things would be a little different. Kyle, being one that dislikes change and is very rigid, we knew that we would have to explain why and how, et cetera. It didn't go over too bad. I explained to him that I had an appointment in the morning and that I would drop him off on the way. After he tried to come up with many different ways that he could still go about his morning the same way, he finally accepted it.
The next morning came and things went very smoothly. I dropped him off at school. When he got out, he turned around and looked at me and said, "Good luck with your appointment, Mom." He said it with such compassion that reliving it now is still bringing tears to my eyes. Other parents may take this quality in their children for granted, and I probably do with the little ones. But for Kyle and I, this was better than winning a gold medal in the Olympics.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Biting
So, Kyle who is almost nine, has started something new. He has started biting, his younger siblings being the targets. I am hoping that this is a phase, one that will be short lived, but it still needs to be dealt with and understood.
Kyle has always had issues with transitions and over stimulation. So the last time he bit his younger brother (younger brother is four years old) it was partly my fault for not creating the right environment. He was gone for the weekend and when he was brought home we were next door at my parents' house. Kyle is usually off the wall when he comes home after being away and he is usually off the wall with excitement when he visits my parents. Combining the two proved to be just too much. We were also making decorations and decorating the tree at my parents house.
Kyle loves to play with his siblings, but most of the time it isn't a pleasurable experience for any of them. The little ones don't play 'right' and as much as they try to play by Kyle's rules, they just don't get it. Most of the time what happens is that when they are playing together I need to get involved to help the situation out, but I don't always have the time to devote 100% of my attention to them at the time they need me. So, they get separated. Not because anyone is in trouble, but just so that the situation doesn't escalate into something like biting.
We are still not sure exactly what led up to this particular biting incident, other than the over stimulation. We know that he didn't bite because his brother bit him first. It happened so fast.
So, how does one deal with this scenario? I am not sure, but I will tell you what I did.
I placed Kyle in a time out first. Mainly this was for my benefit so I could process what had happened and derive a plan to deal with this. After a few minutes I brought him out of time out.
First we talked about what had happened. We went through and relived the story, without actually biting anyone. Then we discussed feelings. We discussed that all feelings are okay, including anger, but that it is not acceptable to bite other people or ourselves. We discussed what he should have done before he bit his brother. We discussed biting and how it affects people and that it is not acceptable in anyway. I asked Kyle what he needed to do now, and he said to apologize, which he did.
As mentioned before, the fact that he was over stimulated was what the main cause of this incident was. So, in the future, it is my duty as the parent to try to make sure that he is not overstimulated. We may have to be at home and have a required 30 minute 'space' between him and his siblings when he comes home from being away.
Kyle has always had issues with transitions and over stimulation. So the last time he bit his younger brother (younger brother is four years old) it was partly my fault for not creating the right environment. He was gone for the weekend and when he was brought home we were next door at my parents' house. Kyle is usually off the wall when he comes home after being away and he is usually off the wall with excitement when he visits my parents. Combining the two proved to be just too much. We were also making decorations and decorating the tree at my parents house.
Kyle loves to play with his siblings, but most of the time it isn't a pleasurable experience for any of them. The little ones don't play 'right' and as much as they try to play by Kyle's rules, they just don't get it. Most of the time what happens is that when they are playing together I need to get involved to help the situation out, but I don't always have the time to devote 100% of my attention to them at the time they need me. So, they get separated. Not because anyone is in trouble, but just so that the situation doesn't escalate into something like biting.
We are still not sure exactly what led up to this particular biting incident, other than the over stimulation. We know that he didn't bite because his brother bit him first. It happened so fast.
So, how does one deal with this scenario? I am not sure, but I will tell you what I did.
I placed Kyle in a time out first. Mainly this was for my benefit so I could process what had happened and derive a plan to deal with this. After a few minutes I brought him out of time out.
First we talked about what had happened. We went through and relived the story, without actually biting anyone. Then we discussed feelings. We discussed that all feelings are okay, including anger, but that it is not acceptable to bite other people or ourselves. We discussed what he should have done before he bit his brother. We discussed biting and how it affects people and that it is not acceptable in anyway. I asked Kyle what he needed to do now, and he said to apologize, which he did.
As mentioned before, the fact that he was over stimulated was what the main cause of this incident was. So, in the future, it is my duty as the parent to try to make sure that he is not overstimulated. We may have to be at home and have a required 30 minute 'space' between him and his siblings when he comes home from being away.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Torn
This is probably the hardest post I have had to write about so far. Emotionally I would just like to skip this post and pretend that this is something that we are not dealing with. I choose to write on for a couple different reasons. One reason being that things don't go away if you ignore them and another being that I am sure that I am not the only one struggling with these emotions. There are more reasons but I am not going to take up your time by writing them all down. So here it goes...
The school where Kyle goes to recently did a couple screenings on him. One was sensory issues. I always knew that Kyle was sensitive to sound, smells, tastes, touch, bright lights etcetera, but aren't we all?? After the evaluation it was discovered that these issues were impacting him more than what I had assumed. Their suggestions were great. Ear plugs for places that were too loud for him...a weighted vest for when he was seeking deep pressure...something to chew on to help with his need for mouthing things (currently he chews his clothes, sucks on his upper arm to the point of leaving marks)...something nice smelling to carry around with him in case he smells something that he can't tolerate...sunglasses to deal with the sun (we had already been doing this at home).
Great! We had a way to help him with these issues. A way to make his world a bit more tolerable. I couldn't be happier. I went out and got all of the things he needed, except for the weighted vest. Until I can travel two hours away to get one, I came up with a temporary solution of a small weighted blanket that I made. I do not wish to order a weighted vest off the internet as I want to make sure that it is the correct size or else it would be useless. The weighted blanket really worked at home. I had a meeting with the school yesterday and brought it with me to give to the teacher. I am going to make another one for home. Everyone at the meeting loved it.
I saw Kyle as I was leaving the meeting. It was lunch time and he was in the cafeteria. This is one of the harder parts of his day. He has a harder time socially with lunch and recess. It is because there is less structure. As I was walking towards him I watched how happy he was. He was sitting with three other kids. They all were getting along and everyone seemed very happy. Kyle was smiling and have a great time! My heart sank though because he was sitting there wearing the ear plugs. It was totally noticeable to me. This was the first time I had seen him in school with the ear plugs. He seemed oblivious, it didn't bother him at all that he was wearing them. When I talked to him later about it he was totally fine with it. His peers didn't seem to mind either. My fear is that he would be picked on because of this. Thinking and weighing all of the options, if he wasn't using this 'tool' he wouldn't be functioning as successfully as he was and the main thing was that he wasn't bothered by it.
When Kyle was leaving school he came walking down the hill with everyone at dismissal time carrying his weighted blanket. He wasn't trying to hide it, putting it in his bag would have been the best option. He was twirling it around. As his mom, I am glad that he has it to use at school but I don't want it to be something that the whole world is aware that he uses. If the teacher kept it in the closet and only took it out when it was needed that would be great. It would be even better if he didn't need it.
When I met up with Kyle as he was walking down the hill I explained to him that the blanket was to stay at school. I promised him that I would make another one for him to use at home. He was okay with that.
On one hand it is a blessing that he is oblivious to the fact others may view his 'tools' as odd, but I think that he would grow better socially if he was a little more aware of social standards. I have mixed emotions on this and it is a very hard topic to write about...it all comes down to what is best for the child.
The school where Kyle goes to recently did a couple screenings on him. One was sensory issues. I always knew that Kyle was sensitive to sound, smells, tastes, touch, bright lights etcetera, but aren't we all?? After the evaluation it was discovered that these issues were impacting him more than what I had assumed. Their suggestions were great. Ear plugs for places that were too loud for him...a weighted vest for when he was seeking deep pressure...something to chew on to help with his need for mouthing things (currently he chews his clothes, sucks on his upper arm to the point of leaving marks)...something nice smelling to carry around with him in case he smells something that he can't tolerate...sunglasses to deal with the sun (we had already been doing this at home).
Great! We had a way to help him with these issues. A way to make his world a bit more tolerable. I couldn't be happier. I went out and got all of the things he needed, except for the weighted vest. Until I can travel two hours away to get one, I came up with a temporary solution of a small weighted blanket that I made. I do not wish to order a weighted vest off the internet as I want to make sure that it is the correct size or else it would be useless. The weighted blanket really worked at home. I had a meeting with the school yesterday and brought it with me to give to the teacher. I am going to make another one for home. Everyone at the meeting loved it.
I saw Kyle as I was leaving the meeting. It was lunch time and he was in the cafeteria. This is one of the harder parts of his day. He has a harder time socially with lunch and recess. It is because there is less structure. As I was walking towards him I watched how happy he was. He was sitting with three other kids. They all were getting along and everyone seemed very happy. Kyle was smiling and have a great time! My heart sank though because he was sitting there wearing the ear plugs. It was totally noticeable to me. This was the first time I had seen him in school with the ear plugs. He seemed oblivious, it didn't bother him at all that he was wearing them. When I talked to him later about it he was totally fine with it. His peers didn't seem to mind either. My fear is that he would be picked on because of this. Thinking and weighing all of the options, if he wasn't using this 'tool' he wouldn't be functioning as successfully as he was and the main thing was that he wasn't bothered by it.
When Kyle was leaving school he came walking down the hill with everyone at dismissal time carrying his weighted blanket. He wasn't trying to hide it, putting it in his bag would have been the best option. He was twirling it around. As his mom, I am glad that he has it to use at school but I don't want it to be something that the whole world is aware that he uses. If the teacher kept it in the closet and only took it out when it was needed that would be great. It would be even better if he didn't need it.
When I met up with Kyle as he was walking down the hill I explained to him that the blanket was to stay at school. I promised him that I would make another one for him to use at home. He was okay with that.
On one hand it is a blessing that he is oblivious to the fact others may view his 'tools' as odd, but I think that he would grow better socially if he was a little more aware of social standards. I have mixed emotions on this and it is a very hard topic to write about...it all comes down to what is best for the child.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Birthday Parties
Kyle's Birthday is just over a couple of months away. This is when I usually start planning the event. For the past three years we have had Kyle's party at the pool in Springfield and invited his whole class. He loves to swim and if you send invitations to school you have to invite everyone. What else are you going to do in the middle of winter with the potential of 15 classmates showing up as well as friends and family?
Kyle had fun last year. Some friends from school came. Our family and some of our friends and their children came as well. Kyle spent the majority of his time not swimming. He sat with my husband's best friend next to the pool and chatted with him. Some of my family members thought that he should be swimming with his friends. I evaluated the situation and brought it up with Kyle. I explained that his friends had come to his party to spend time with him and that he should respect that and swim with them. He really didn't want to and observing the pool it was clear that the kids were having fun and they didn't mind either. I let it be. He was happy that his friends came to his party, but I think it was too much for him to handle.
So, what do I do this year? I talked with Kyle about his party. I asked him if he would prefer the pool party or if he would prefer to invite one friend and have a special day together. He picked the one friend option. He suggested taking a trip to the Montshire Museum, he loves that place. I explained to him how great of an idea that was but that we go there all of the time and that maybe something even more special would be better. I was thinking the planetarium. He loves space. I have always wanted to take the kids there, but I won't drive there because I am not familiar with that area. Hopefully my parents are reading this blog and will agree to do the driving!
The mother in me has many emotions regarding this decision. One is that I am happy that Kyle is going to have fun for his Birthday and that he knows and wants what is best for him, but on the other hand I am deeply saddened that the traditional big Birthday party with all of his school friends isn't the best thing. This is something that I need to get over, but difficult nonetheless.
Kyle had fun last year. Some friends from school came. Our family and some of our friends and their children came as well. Kyle spent the majority of his time not swimming. He sat with my husband's best friend next to the pool and chatted with him. Some of my family members thought that he should be swimming with his friends. I evaluated the situation and brought it up with Kyle. I explained that his friends had come to his party to spend time with him and that he should respect that and swim with them. He really didn't want to and observing the pool it was clear that the kids were having fun and they didn't mind either. I let it be. He was happy that his friends came to his party, but I think it was too much for him to handle.
So, what do I do this year? I talked with Kyle about his party. I asked him if he would prefer the pool party or if he would prefer to invite one friend and have a special day together. He picked the one friend option. He suggested taking a trip to the Montshire Museum, he loves that place. I explained to him how great of an idea that was but that we go there all of the time and that maybe something even more special would be better. I was thinking the planetarium. He loves space. I have always wanted to take the kids there, but I won't drive there because I am not familiar with that area. Hopefully my parents are reading this blog and will agree to do the driving!
The mother in me has many emotions regarding this decision. One is that I am happy that Kyle is going to have fun for his Birthday and that he knows and wants what is best for him, but on the other hand I am deeply saddened that the traditional big Birthday party with all of his school friends isn't the best thing. This is something that I need to get over, but difficult nonetheless.
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