Monday, January 17, 2011

The Pain of Rejection

Every week Kyle goes out with a therapist and another child with similar needs to have fun and to work on social skills. Kyle looks forward to these outings. This is such a great opportunity for him and the other children. Kyle has been going with this one child and I thought that everything was going great. I began to wonder if I was imagining the social deficit.

I took Kyle to his one on one therapy appointment today and while he was in his meeting I met up with the therapist that he works with in these social meetings. We talked about the next time that she was going to be taking Kyle out and what they had planned on doing. It was great to hear that he was going to be making some different friends. Then, I was saddened to hear that the child he was going with regularly had asked the therapist if he always had to hang out with Kyle. This was very sad for me to hear. No one wants to hear that their child isn't liked by anybody. On the other hand, I do not blame the child either. Kyle can be mean to other children. He doesn't know he is until after he has hurt the other person's feelings and you have brought it to his attention. He then feels really bad because this wasn't his intention, but the damage is done.

The last time the two of them hung out with the therapist they went sliding. Kyle was getting mad and very hurtful to the other child because he "wasn't sliding right" and kept falling off. This is something that he has had a hard time with all along. His brother doesn't play with Legos right...his sister doesn't play the game right...every five seconds someone isn't doing something right.

The therapist could tell that I was sad. I said to her that I have tried to talk to him about this since he was little and he doesn't ever get it until after the damage is done. She reassured me that it is great that he takes ownership for it after and that he feels remorse. She told me that she was going to work with him and help him learn. I am so happy and grateful that he will eventually learn, I hope, but why is it that I am not able to teach him this? What is it that I am doing wrong? I love him with every bit of my heart, and when he gets rejected it hurts me a million times more than you can even imagine. He is such a happy, lovable boy and I never want that to change.

1 comment:

  1. Ohh, I know exactly what you are going through. It hurts so much to see your child rejected. The only thing you can do is be the person that helps explain to him over and over and over how we need to care for people's feelings. It'll come over time. It just takes time and sometimes with each individual event that happens. Thankfully he has a loving mother like you to be patient with him and love him just the way he is. That is the best ever because even if he gets rejected at school he'll have a family to come home to that has open arms.